Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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