So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
