Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
