I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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