that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
