apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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