Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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