if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
