its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
then he tried to convert me to islam
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i out mim tonsoeep
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