you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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