why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize