If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
