i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize