I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
