Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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