Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
