Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he fucked my hip out of place.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
