Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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