Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
