I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
