I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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