Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Michael Bay diarrhea
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
