I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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