Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
