you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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