I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
