I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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