Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
