i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
