he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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