Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
