His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
