I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
