how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
