I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
