The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
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I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize