it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
that may or may not have been my penis.
tell me about the fingering
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