I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
