call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
