No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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