Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
