I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
