so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
