Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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