I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
