Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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