Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
should my penis look like a turkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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