ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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