I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
