Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
