...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
