Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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