come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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