hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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