you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
