the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
