It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
