toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
