the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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